Art · Personal


From what I’ve seen of painters and art is that when an artist comes into their own unique “style” it’s as if they become their art. They go to sleep thinking about their work, they wake up in the morning filled with new ideas and jump straight into it and it seems as though they wouldn’t know their life if it wasn’t for the art in it.

Well, I think I am still waiting for my style.

What I am “good at” is realistic styled drawing.

For example the rose at the top of my page is what I drew for my mother a year or so ago:


It’s unfinished in this picture but you get the idea.

However when I close my eyes and see the ideas in my mind of what I want to create I just think to myself how on earth am I going to get that out of my head and onto a canvas/page? With my super-realistic style abilities I am just amiss to interpret what I see.

Sometimes these ideas are so fleeting that even if I could manage it the reference has already gone. It’s a pity that we can’t take pictures of things in our minds.

I keep wondering what I should do and I also keep amassing copious art supplies to help, but every time I start to get experimental it just doesn’t feel right and I end up with a mess on a canvas.

I just haven’t found the right way of expressing myself yet. I know some people just throw paint at a canvas and that’s the way they can understand themselves and/or their world, or some people (my father included) just sits down with a canvas, starts drawing and whatever comes out, comes out.

Some people plan a work out for weeks or even months and some people can just belt something out in a few hours, but as long as they know their style it’s a relatively easy process, no matter how long it takes.

I don’t know why my inner artist has to be such a perfectionist. While I am amazed at what I can create, the realistic drawings don’t really have much emotion behind them. I see my creation but it doesn’t mean anything.

I really hope that one day I’m able to show other people what I can see just as other artists before me have done. I hope one day I can find my style and I can’t stop myself each and every day bringing my visions to life.

I hope one day I can just get it all out.





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