Happiness · Personal · relationships

Healing Hearts (And Pinching Nipples Too, It Would Seem)

So, I was surprised yesterday by something I found out. Well surprised probably isn’t the right word… more like interested.

It turns out Venus went retrograde. I didn’t even know that other planets went retrograde besides Mercury but I suppose it’s the one that does it most often? I don’t know, I’m not an astrologer.

Anyway, “retrograde” is just a fancy term for the planet appearing to move backwards in the night sky. It’s not really doing that because, if it went backwards on it’s orbit around the sun, all scientists would be like “OMG!” (paraphrasing.)

I was intrigued because lately I’d been weighing up my ex, and Venus being the planet of loooove (and other stuff), I was like, “well, maybe this is why I’m thinking about relationships so much now?”

The article I read (that was very EASY to read, like “Astrology for dummies”, so thank you article writer) said: “…this retrograde may upend preconceived notions about your love life. With that may come a newfound attraction to someone you never considered to be a romantic prospect or a revelation about your current relationship.”

Let’s read on…

“…take this opportunity to show ourselves the love we normally give others. This might be the right move to make if you have any serious exes waiting in the wings.”

Hmm…

image

“If you know it’s a bad idea to reconnect with your ex, draw a bath and show yourself some self-love instead. Once the retrograde lifts on April 15, the relief you feel will outshine the excitement of succumbing to a perilous stroll down memory lane.”

We can all make our own conclusions but I just thought it was really odd I was doing all this only to find out the planets were perhaps encouraging it?

“Reflect on your past relationships and think about what went wrong — what red flags appeared before the breakup that are only recognizable in hindsight? Use those lessons to inform any decisions you make with a new or potential partner during the retrograde.”

I’m also interested as to why, when I typed intrigued into Google search this image turned up…

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Mooooving on…

I assume my ex is doing the same thing I am, weighing me up, because he stopped talking to me right in the lead up to Venus retrograde. I thought that perhaps it was best for us to work through things together (that’s the way I’ve done it with all my other exes) but it seems that in this case it’s more appropriate to separate. I’m not just deciding if there could be a future between us but, like the article said, I’m actually redefining what a romantic partnership means to me.

 

One pattern I would like to give up is being attracted to men whom have had their hearts broken badly by someone they’ve really loved. Although it’s been a nice experience to help pick up all the pieces and show them love again, I’m done with that now.

Another would be my habit of taking over the role of giving in a relationship. It should be reciprocal. I think in order for my huge heart to be balanced it needs another huge heart to bounce off of.

Thirdly, no more falling in love with someones POTENTIAL. It’s nice to be aware of what a man is capable of but I need to also be aware and grounded in who he is NOW and if who I am NOW and who he is NOW mesh.

 

I just have to realise that short-term gratification will not equate to long-term happiness, which is how I think my gut feels about my most recent ex. We have a strong physical and emotional connection but that doesn’t always translate to a partnership.

He did also say, however, months ago that it was best for us to work on our own things. Sometimes he gives a vibe of being completely superficial and surface level and then other times he is spot on with intuition.

 

 

Either way I have a heart to heal.

 

 

P.S If I’m to be fair about all this I think I’m lumping everything in with my ex because it wasn’t just him that I lost. It was my job of 6 years that had become a part of my identity. It was my independence I’d finally gained after so long without it. It was the new friends I was beginning to make, the new life I was trying to set up. He was the last connection to all of that, and now he is vanishing too.

 

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