I did some healing this week in regard to my heart and romance, and weirdly I feel free. I went from attached to my ex to, nope, don’t feel much now.
I don’t mean that in a bad way. I still care about him and am genuinely interested in how he’s doing, but I’m no longer thinking constantly about him or about everything to do with the metaphorical “us.”
When I see he is online I just go about my business as if he was just a friend who is online. Do I care if he says anything to me today? Nope; just like I’m not agonising over the fact that one of my good girl friends hasn’t messaged me back after a couple of days. I am well aware of it but I’m not walking around all day wondering if she likes me anymore or what our future holds.
I like this. I can start to focus on exactly what I do want in a romantic partnership without baggage or history. I’m looking forward to my next chapter now. I’m looking forward to the surprise. I’m looking forward to knowing exactly who I am and what I want. I’m looking forward to the man who sees absolutely everything I am and connects completely to that with no fear. Nothing superficial, no bullshit; just two strong, independent souls coming together to make their lives richer in joy and love.
I’m not there yet.
Still got a little more work to go with me and getting to that place of strength deep inside.
But it sure is nice to daydream…
Oh, and my dad didn’t even notice that day when we got a new fridge until I asked him to get the tomato sauce out and he was like, “this doesn’t look right!” It was amusing.