When I woke up this morning I decided to have a quick scroll through Facebook. I don’t know why because it’s always super boring. The best part is leaving Facebook for like a year and coming back to all the change. Anyway, I’m digressing.
I saw a picture of a text between two people – you’ve probably seen it on social media because I had seen it before – where one person was telling another why he didn’t want to fall in love.
You can ignore that last bit, it’s just part of the meme.
My first thought was why is this on my timeline? and when I saw that my ex had liked it my next thought was yeah figures.
Then I got a little bit angry but probably not for the reason you may think.
The reason I began to get a little bit uppity was the “fear” aspect of this and why it’s perfectly acceptable for someone to be afraid to fall in love/commit to a relationship because of the anxiety and discomfort of old experiences…
…but it’s not okay for me to become overwhelmed with anxiety and discomfort for a) sometimes no reason, or b) for a so-called “irrational” one?
It is becoming quite comical for me to see the hypocrisy when people, more specifically my romantic partners, tell me to just “get over” my anxiety when they don’t even bother facing their own discomforts.
To be clear I’m NOT having a go at him for not being in a relationship with me and I DO recognise that people need time in order to heal after breakups .
The reason why I am so vocal about this is because he has been open with me about being aware how his shutting down is negatively affecting his life. It’s at the point now where I could say it’s just as bad as anxiety negatively affecting mine.
But just because my mental illness is seen as being irrational and his is being rational no one is telling him to just “suck it up” and “face your fears!”
So, to be passive-aggressive I liked a picture on my facebook timeline that said the following:
Magic happens when you don’t give up.
Even though you want to.
The universe always falls in love with a stubborn heart.
And then, just to rub it in, I liked this one too:
Attitude is a choice.
What you think you can do, whether positive or negative, confident or scared, will most likely happen.
And just to make it less obvious I also liked a post on a science page that wrote an article about how you may live longer if you eat 10 servings of fruit and vegetables a day or something; it was a good cover because I am vegetarian and I do agree with that anyway.
I’m obviously not trying to be mean or anything like that but how can you help someone that doesn’t want to be helped? You can’t. All you can do is try and offer a different way of viewing a situation and being accepting of the life choices someone else makes.
In fact, writing something along the lines of this to him might actually get him to understand my mental illness because he has something to compare it to.
That’s an idea.
But really it is up to the individual. We try to cope as best we can and seeking out help is a totally personal experience. Just as he could spend the rest of his life denying his fears and not entering into another relationship I could just as easily try and live my life ignoring my mental health.
It’s up to us.