After a week of absolute torment I am finally beginning to feel somewhat normal again.
The weird itching/rash that I had on my body had me in tears most of the time. I was sleeping only around 4 hours a night and so my mental and emotional capabilities were pretty much worn down to the bone.
I’ve had relief for about 3 days now. I’ve finally started to smile again and if I’m listening to a song I like I start dancing along to it.
Honestly one of the worst things I’ve experienced – not just because of the constant itching but just how absolutely draining it was. At least with anxiety or panic attacks I’ve been able to calm down or be in a place where I feel safe and better, but there was no way to run from this.
Saturday morning here and I’m happy to say that I remember sleeping right through the night. I’m a little concerned about my energy reserves, as I am feeling rather spacey, because I have to work tomorrow.
However I will do my best to get everything back to the way it was before all this crap.
Lately I have been spending a lot of time with my boyfriend and also focused on moving house. At times I get super frustrated and just want to be out of where I am but then when I am calm and centered I remind myself that I have the luxury of biding my time to find a place that is perfect.
For example I went to an open house for a 1 bedroom place that seemed pretty perfect. When I got there and had a look around my initial reaction was ‘no, it’s not for me’. However due to the stress I was under I tried to talk myself into the place.
For a starters it didn’t allow pets, so my birds Monkey and Sandy might gum up the works. Secondly, even though it said “heating and air conditioning” I found that while the place did have in-slab heating the air conditioning was actually just one of those portable ones that you have near a window. I’m also pretty sure that the kitchen didn’t have a dishwasher – and I am someone that definitely needs one.
I know that the right place will have everything I want and need so it’s just a matter of finding it.
I also have to remind myself that my focus should be on turning myself into my own boss with creativity. It’s pretty clear that my path in life isn’t meant to be a 9 – 5 career but that still means that in order to do what I love as my job, I have to actually DO WHAT I LOVE.
So that’s where I am.
Hope all is well with everyone.