What a week.
What a difference acceptance can make.
The acceptance that you’re in charge of what kind of year, month, week, day, afternoon, morning, hour, minute, moment you’re going to allow yourself to have.
Taking my power back is, at the moment, the greatest weapon I have against anxiety. I love knowing that I’m allowed to grow, I’m allowed to change. Perhaps I may step on some toes because of it but I have to stop pretending that I’m someone I’m not; to stop taking on the identity of everyone around me because I’m not sure of what to make of myself.
I also love knowing that I can define myself differently, including *shock* *horror* not including “anxiety” in my identity.
Trust me, I know how much of a relief it is to have a label for someway that you’re feeling. And it has also brought tears to my eyes meeting people who deal with the same things I do, because I don’t feel alone.
But just as I decided that I wasn’t going to let Rheumatoid Arthritis be a part of my identity, a part of my body, I am working towards a day when GAD doesn’t have to be a part of my life anymore either.
I’m doing quite well – I can do so many things now that used to set my anxiety off – and each day I try to expand my comfort zone a little more, to remember why I shouldn’t try and self-sabotage myself through food or shutting myself off, and doing the smallest of tasks to keep my spirits above *meh* levels.
Also, I can’t believe how much difference exercise does make. I have exercised 3 days this week, for 30 minutes each time, and I have noticed a change in how I feel inside.
I’ve done so much work and I’m really looking forward to the day when I have an idea to improve my moment, minute, hour, morning, afternoon, day, week, month, year and my very first reaction is “yes, let’s do that!” and do it instead of wondering “will my anxiety let me do that.”