Anxiety · Health · Personal

Update

This week is going rather well in some ways, rather slowly in others, but this is basically my week thus far:

  • My bird, Monkey, managed to smash a hand-painted antique glass I brought last year. I was hoping to give it new life by using it but to be honest I only drank out of it once.
  • I have exercised twice this week, 30 minutes each time, with a little bit of dancing and some strength training. I’ve felt really good afterwards and haven’t felt the need to fill myself up with food. I missed the last 2 days but that’s okay. That’s twice more in a week than I used to exercise.
  • On the tail end of that I also managed to paint for 3 days in a row. The hardest part of this painting has been the glow-in-the-dark paint because it doesn’t go on very smoothly so it ends up looking blotchy. I’ll have to mix it with a retarding medium or something. That’ll be the next big painting adventure.
  • I am still sleeping until quite late in the mornings. I was feeling a bit bummed about it but since I’ve actually been doing productive things with the rest of my day I don’t feel bad.
  • I took my bike in today to get serviced by a bike shop. If my bike was just a cheap one then I probably would have just gave it a once over myself and got back on it, but it’s a Giant mountain bike so I wanted to make sure it was all okay before I put my life into the hands of this bike.
  • I’m going to ride my bike again!
  • On Wednesday (yesterday) I went to Target to buy a new pair of pants (because of the fact that I’ve put on weight I need some pants that fit me!) and I had horrible anxiety for some reason. I felt very unsteady on my feet and my hands were shaking a little. Despite the intense urge to “flight” in the store after I chose some pants (and underpants) I managed to stay in line behind the 8 people ahead of me, and also keep my shit together when the next wave of “flight” hit me during my stuff being checked out.
  • I caught up with an old friend that I made at a cafe I used to work at 6 or so years ago. I really like her and it’s a shame we don’t get together more often. She told me she met someone who is down with the whole “family” thing and I am so very happy for her because she has been dating for as long as I’ve known her.
  • My boyfriend hasn’t quite been himself lately which I blame on this full moon we’re having. It’s all about looking at our shadow selves and it’s bringing up a lot of crap we’d rather hide from. I told him that, and told him I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, so I’m hoping he feels better soon.
  • My other bird, Sandy, has laid another 4 eggs. She is adorable. She comes out of the cage every so often, does a massive poop in the middle of the floor, looks around for food, and then back on the eggs. Thank god I have wood floors.

And now I’m about to go to sleep.

Tomorrow is Friday and I have an appointment with my acupuncturist in the afternoon. I will also be called about my bike too so will have to go and pick that up.

Hoping that I will get in another exercise session because it does help me. I don’t feel magically wonderful like I could do anything after I do it, but it does do something.

Love.

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