This morning started a little earlier than expected; 4am with me feeling quite sick in the stomach and my boyfriend laughing himself awake from a dream he was having. I didn’t mind much – there’s no aphrodisiac like that man’s laugh.
Eventually I managed to fall back asleep, but my boyfriend’s alarm went off at 5:50am – and off to work he went. I didn’t end up getting out of bed until 10:30am. I’m not sure about anyone else who’s almost reached their 30s but even if I’m as tired as all heavens I still don’t feel much like sleeping past 8:30am. If I do I end up feeling worse for wear when I wake up.
Today is a beautiful day – one of those perfect Autumn gems. The sun is out, it’s warm with just a little bit of bite to it, it’s a little breezy and most of all – the thing I personally loooove about this day – no noise! One of the quietest days I have ever had living here.
I suspect that most people here, and also in my city, have gone somewhere to celebrate Easter with their families. I would be doing that too, if I wasn’t working on Easter Sunday.
My mother rang me up this morning and she sounded so much better. She said to me, “oh dear, really nothing compares to being able to get up in the early morning and make yourself a cup of tea and a slice of toast with peanut butter on it!” I will jump in my car on Monday and head over to say hello I think.
When I sat down on my couch after dragging myself out of bed there was sort of an unconscious thought that it was where I would be spending the rest of the day. The thought did cross my mind that I might paint today, but once you’re in your comfy “at home” clothes, with access to a TV series, well it’s all too good to leave isn’t it.
It wasn’t until one of the episodes finished and I looked out the window that I thought perhaps sitting here watching TV isn’t the best way to spend the day. What I most feel like doing is sitting on some grass somewhere, maybe near some water, and soaking up the atmosphere of nature.
Boy is it hard to convince yourself to do something once you’re comfortable, isn’t it?!
But I’m happy to say I’m now sitting here wearing “outside clothes” just about ready to chuck some socks on and drive somewhere I can go for a walk or something.
I’ve been thinking a little bit about what I talked about with my boyfriend the other day. We were discussing my being sick and he said something that I have heard a million times and I become quite defensive about.
It’s something along the lines of “if you call yourself sick all the time then that’s what you expect and get.” I can’t remember the exact wording but of course, straight away I jump on the victim foot and try to explain to him that well, yeah because that’s just what seems to happen to me.
At the time I thought it’s not really something that he understood so I wasn’t going to get too up in arms about it.
My boyfriend has had troubles with his stomach/guts for I think he said a while but it’s only sort of gotten a lot worse over the past 2 years or so.
He can’t eat certain things without having to run to the bathroom, he can be in pain from his stomach, he can feel tired and have to nap a lot and so on.
I thought to myself this morning, sort of, out of the blue, never have I heard this man ever say, “I am sick.” Never. He says things like, “my stomach is giving me grief” or “oh dear, that’s (so-and-so food) went straight through me!” but he never says, “there’s something wrong with me I’m sick.
Now even I, and possibly even you, can tell there’s something not quite right with his body and maybe he is actually unwell, but there’s something to that mindset. He doesn’t think of himself as a “sick person” and believe me if you met this man you wouldn’t believe that he had been sick a day in his life.
I think there’s something to that but I have to sit on it for a little while longer to figure it all out.
Hope everyone out there is having a Good Friday.