I’m just going to get all this stuff out of my head because it’s of no use in there; if I don’t get it out then it’ll just sit in there and ferment…
I have been looking online at apartments as a possibility to move to and I liked the idea of one of them until I saw two of them for rent in the same apartment complex… then another… then another… and there were about 4 or 5 coming up for rent at the same time. Kind of makes me wonder, is there something going on there?
When I heard about the passing of David Bowie I become incredibly upset and I don’t particularly know why. He played my favourite character in Labyrinth that I watched constantly as a child, and I remember a few of his songs, but The Beatles and The Rolling Stones were more of a musical influence in my household. However after reading every FaceBook post that mentioned him I found my heart breaking more and more.
I think it’s because of Bowies genuine nature, despite the fact that he had many characters and many faces; the love he had for everything I think we could all sense in some way?9
My ex, and now close friend, has been back in town for almost two days now and it’s already a case of “all hands on deck.” I find myself wishing that he would go back – I know that sounds harsh but I feel as though I might have outgrown him.
I had dinner with my best friend and him tonight and all I could think sitting there eating my vegetarian fried rice was, “what the hell am I doing here?”
I kind of wondered why I wasn’t spending more time with like-minded people, or why I don’t go out and meet like-minded people; and why I was sitting at a table with two people who expect me to entertain them.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I can express myself when the urge arises, and why I self-sensor so much. I relate to Ned Flanders in the episode where he has a mental breakdown after a lifetime of pushing everything deep down, just because he was taught to keep quiet and not upset others. Perhaps there’s some kind of 30 day diet I could do, but instead of dieting maybe I could punch pillows and yell at flowers.
Now that I’ve got all that out I feel much more grounded.
Thank you, Internet.