If anyone is out there hanging on for the next artfulanxiety post, I apologise that it has taken so long. There have been no emergencies and I have still been plugged into the world wide web, but I really didn’t know what to share.
Even though 2016 is here I still have no idea what I’m going to do. Often when the new year starts I have a gusto of energy and I say to myself, “this is it, this is the year to get my shit together” but I haven’t had that yet. I suppose Astrologers would tell me that’s because of the Mercury Retrograde, but I’m someone that knows I always have a choice to feel what I want to – there seems to be something off with me at the moment.
My mother has started fainting for what seems like no reason. She has been checked over and there seems to be nothing wrong. However, I have had some advice how to help the situation so that’s nice of people to share. I am just a bit concerned because my mother looks after my father, and so if she can’t do that then, who will look after them? I guess that’s the question a lot of young people eventually ask themselves.
I am still marginally lost when it comes to what to do with myself. The most frustrating this is I know it’s not time to make a grand statement that THIS IS WHO I WILL BE!
Also, because of my neighbour (bless his little cotton socks), I am now no longer comfortable coming home to where I live.
Apart from the fact that someone was knocking on his door late one Sunday night a few weeks ago – shouting death threats at the top of this lungs, making everyone who could hear it rather uncomfortable – he is not shy in playing his music loudly; a.k.a he doesn’t give a f**k about other people.
It has happened every now and then since I moved in last year, but since the weather has warmed up it’s become quite a regular “thing”. Don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining because I can hear music; it’s more the fact that things on my wall vibrate from the bass. I can close the door to my bedroom, put on headphones to a computer game, then put other earphones in to listen to music, but I can STILL hear it. Not only that but sometimes I can feel it.
As someone who can get rather wound up (otherwise known as prone to anxiety) it’s no longer healthy for me to have to put up with it.
Yesterday, I went to the nearby lake for a good hour and a half, came home and it was still going. I even called around to friends and invited myself over which, as any person with any kind of social anxiety knows, is desperation.
I guess the tipping point of it all was when I invited my parents over to enjoy Christmas with me, and, while Christmas Day was relaxing, the rest of the days turned into listening to “doop doop” through walls to the point where I said the “f word” in front of my parents.
All I wanted was a nice Christmas in my home.
As far as talking to him about the noise levels, well, I have called the police on him before for the loud music – it was 12:30am and I had to work the next day – and have had my best friend bang on his door telling him to shut up… so he does KNOW it is way too loud, but he doesn’t care. Plus, he owns his little flat so calling his landlord/real estate is unfortunately not an option.
I can handle a lot of things in life but not being able to feel comfortable in my own home is a big pet hate – and I’m sure many out there would feel me.
The only thing for it is for me to move – something I was kind of hoping I wouldn’t have to do. I thought I’d found a place I could stay for a while.
My current romantic interest wants me to move closer to his neck of the woods, but I have everything I need where I am. I suppose it just depends on what’s available and what I will (eventually) be able to afford.
Thank goodness for my parents who still support me but I’ve had enough of that now. They should enjoy their retirement money and I should be making my own way.