I don’t ever remember having a plan.
My plan in Primary School was to do an awesome job at everything and I did a pretty good job at it, I suppose.
I only just graduated High School; the girl who would annoy the crap out of people because they didn’t like a “try hard”.
In University I had no idea what I was doing. To be perfectly honest I should have taken a gap year to come to terms with everything – finishing school, being diagnosed with a chronic illness, see my friends go about their business and actually COMPREHEND what it was to carve out a life.
I waited until I had direction from anyone around me to steer me onto a path, and the only time I gave up on something, or change it, was after I did major damage to myself in some way: my health, my wellbeing, my happiness.
All because I had no plan.
And to be honest I still don’t.
I think about plans but that’s usually as far as I get. For example, almost 3 years ago now I was thinking of starting a course to be a Naturopath. I didn’t, because I wasn’t sure.
If I had MADE that choice, then right about now I could have been 3 years into that course with at least some direction.
Even if I’d lost interest by now, at least I would have tried something!
Yet here I sit, 29th year of being on planet Earth, and I’m still a casual at a job I’m beginning to really dislike. I graduated 6 years ago. SIX.
I’m not going to blame my health, or my mental state – yes, anxiety and illness have been hard, but that’s no excuse not to try.
Yes, I’ve come along way. I will bask in the progress I’ve made for a moment.
But now I need a plan. A proper plan. A life plan.
Because life can’t happen to you if you’re busy making no plans.
On a side note, my doctor has asked me to try coming off my medication. I feel a lot better about doing it this time around. After speaking to some people about how they did it I’m a bit more confident about the WAY to do it.
Basically by cutting out a day of medication for a few weeks, and then cutting out another, then another, ever so slowly is the best way.
We’ll see what happens!