Lifestyle · Personal

Trying To Scream; The “Get Off My Chest” Story

Last night I woke at 4:30 (for the second or third time in a week or so) from a nightmare. It wasn’t a particularly bad nightmare – in fact, I don’t even remember what I was afraid of.

All I can remember was that I was trying to scream. It wasn’t like the usual “trying to scream but no sound comes out” ones… I was trying to make as much noise as I could. I wasn’t going to settle for a just a scream, I wanted the very essence of who I am to come out of my lungs.

I am sort of glad I didn’t manage it because I think if I had, I would have screamed in real life as well and scared the absolute heavens out of my neighbours.

Interestingly, between 3am and 5am is the time of our lungs. It’s the time when we “come back home” in a sense. The lung, in Chinese medicine, is the most fragile organ – it can be affected by anything.

Lungs play a crucial role in letting go. The very act of breathing is akin to this. We breathe in fresh, oxygenated air, and we breathe out carbon-dioxide that is toxic to our bodies.

It’s the very same for our emotions, actions, and thoughts as well. If we don’t feed the body with positive, nourishing energy through our actions, deeds, self-talk and emotions, it is as if you are constantly feeding your lungs with carbon-dioxide – the negative that we replay over and over again. Then the lungs have nothing good to pass onto the rest of your body.

It makes me really wonder now, what is it that I have to “get off my chest” so badly?

I have a couple of things that are on my mind but nothing that I thought warranted what felt like an eternity of screaming.

Or is that just the problem? Am I refusing to acknowledge just how much things are affecting me?

From the book The Perfect Day Plan by Jost Sauer there is a few lines that really drive the whole point home to me;

“Imagine simply not caring about anything that happened to you, being absolutely free of concern about anything anyone had ever said to you or about you in the past, regardless of how hurtful it was. Imagine being so present all the time you never drag up old arguments in your head and re-run them. This is what our lungs are designed to deliver.”

Was the dream a way of telling myself enough?

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