Bad Hand, Or Eyes Shut?

The reason why I’m writing so much about anxiety lately is that my acupuncturist is currently in Europe… and will be there until some time in July.

So it’s currently my job to take my health seriously. Not that I don’t take it seriously, but this means I can’t cheat – I have to do all those exercises that health professionals show you and you say, “yeah, I’ll do that at home” but you never do ’cause you’re seeing them next week anyway.

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In other news, I’ve finally made a proper friend.

Well, not just made, but we’ve got a lot in common and it’s not an effort to be around them. Plus, she’s a girl. I am hopeless when it comes to being friends with girls but she makes it really easy. She’s inclusive.

We bonded over our mutual chronic illnesses – which sounds really odd, but she understands me and I understand her.

That’s not the only thing we have in common, however I just think it’s an amusing thing to say.

Without knowing it she has taught me to relax, to not take things so seriously. In that I’ve found more people I work with easier to open my heart to. It’s an interesting feeling – thinking you don’t fit in anywhere one moment and then suddenly find yourself in a family that was there all along.

It sort of makes me wonder if it really is life dealing us a bad hand, or if are we just blocking our hearts off to what’s already right in front of our eyes.

The more I hope, pray and ask for it to open, the more my world opens. Not in the way it used to, with anxiety, fear, uncertainty and powerlessness, but with these wonderful happenings that don’t make me feel so alone anymore.

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