Surprise Dating


So I thought it would be a long while before I wrote a post about dating, but here we are!

A mere 2 months since I left a 4-year-long relationship and I have already been asked for my phone number.

It makes me laugh because I woke up today thinking, ah, what the hell, I’ll go to work with dirty hair, no make up, and hide behind my glasses. It’s good to know that even looking like hell I still have game (felt very weird to type “game”; almost like me typing that just turned me into an uncool mum.)

In hindsight, I should have seen it coming. All the questions he was asking me screamed of sussing someone out as a potential mate – but here I am, in my bubble of spending the past 4 years in a relationship, thinking it was not possible for me to attract any dates because it’s the last thing on my mind.

I think everyone wants to be friends, because I don’t have my dating light on. That’s sort of a Sex And The City reference – when they are talking about guys being taxi cabs; they drive around with their lights off until one day they turn it on and just marry the next fare that jumps into their cab.

Not as drastic as that, but you get the idea.

So, here I am with every fiber of my being wanting to say, “you just want my number ’cause you wanna be friends, right? ’cause I’m not ready to date anyone” after he asks if I want to grab a coffee sometime, and instead I say:

“Umm, errr… I guess.”

And after that he asks for my number and I do exactly the same thing!

“Umm… (just tell him you’re not interested in dating) well… (just say you want to be friends)… okay.”


Jimminy, woman! What the f**k is wrong with you?!

Have you gone insane??!

The hardest part in all this is the fact that my anxiety has gone into high alert. “Dating” is the utmost trigger for it and as much work that I’ve done on anxiety, and will continue to do, it all falls in the face of this new anomaly in my life.

Holy s**t, feelings? What the hell do I do with those?! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WOULD BE FEELINGS!…

…is what I assume my inner self is saying.

So I may be reading way too much into all of this, but I don’t want to lead this guy along. I almost feel like sending him a message to lay his intentions out on the table so I can nip it in the butt quickly. If he does only want to be friends, then no harm done, right?

What do you think the best way is to let a person down?


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