Yesterday I was going through an old hard drive and found all the filming I’d done while in my last year of high school and my first year of University.
While I was watching the footage I thought to myself, “I was quite beautiful back then.”
Ironic, isn’t it, that all those people who told you ‘you are beautiful you just can’t see it’ were right. To think back to that time, when I honestly couldn’t give myself a compliment to save my life, is a little frustrating. I wanted to reach into my T.V., take myself by the shoulders, and give myself a darn good talking to.
That being said, if I was filming myself right now and I watched the footage in 10 years time, I would probably do the same thing.
Remembering some of the things I used to believe about myself is cringe worthy. Now I know how frustrated parents must get when they see their wonderful children second-guess themselves, how frustrated my parents must have been.
However, that’s how we learn, isn’t it?
I’ve found a few diamonds in the rough, in regards to the large box of books I acquired, one caught my eye straight away – I Could Do Anything, If Only I Knew What It Was by Barbara Sher – and as if by magic I opened it to Chapter Six straight away.
I Want Too Many Things, I’m All Over The Map
Bingo, I thought.
To know there are other people out there like me who are a jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none, types is quite comforting. Knowing that others struggle to make a choice what to do, get stuck in “in-between” jobs, and lose interest in projects gradually whilst jumping onto something else entirely, is the first step to not feeling so bad about that tendency.
My gaze then settled on a particular paragraph about being a “scanner” (how ironic that I literally scanned the chapter to find this part!); that is, someone who is always searching, looking for new and exciting things but unable to settle on just one.
“If you’re a scanner, you have extraordinarily specially and valuable skills. You love what is new, and you don’t suffer from fear and indecisiveness. You’re highly adaptable to new cultures; you’re so flexible you can turn on a dime. You’re a lightening-fast learner, curious about anything you don’t already understand; you like and respect all kinds of thinking. Although you may be unwilling to dedicate yourself to one path, you don’t lack discipline or have a lower IQ. On the contrary, you’re dedicated to learning all you can, and you’re intelligent enough to delight in all that you learn.” pg. 102-3
Isn’t that always the way?
We beat ourselves up over our “weaknesses” rather on focusing more diligently on the strengths that “weakness” possesses.
Finding the silver lining, I think they say.
I told my acupuncturist once that sometimes, without even realising it, I will adopt even the accent of a person I am talking to becoming some sort of weird hybrid of me and the other person. How embarrassing to be talking to someone from the UK and for me to suddenly turn into a Brit myself!
She said to me, “but it’s a great strength – to be able to empathise so quickly means you can blend in and build a rapport with someone straight away. It means people will feel at ease around you.”
I, of course, never saw it that way.
Maybe I should become a spy!
So what’s a perceived weakness in you that you could see the strengths in?