Personal

The Rain, The Relationship, And The Rest

Boy, I have had quite the weekend!

It all started Friday afternoon/night – a message from my mother telling me that Grandpa was dying. Yes, she said it that bluntly. I wasn’t really sure what to say, considering I, or my immediate family, has never had a loss of this type before. If anything, I was more concerned about my mother – it is, after all, her father.

Later, I started what was the start of a 3-day course weekend all about acupuncture and the body’s ability to heal itself. I knew the kind of person I wanted to be when I walked in the room – calm, confident, warm – to walk up to the people already exchanging pleasantries and introduce myself. Alas, old habits die hard.

I suppose I had a pretty good excuse, to focus on the messages my mother was sending me and offer support, but I knew that first impressions are important. Even knowing this I couldn’t bring myself to walk up to the three people and say hello. I immediately picked a seat and “put my shield up” as people like to call it.

Despite this I still managed to introduce myself to the nurse who sat down next to me. We had a nice chat about why we were there and what we do for our day jobs.

The course was interesting, but I sort of expected more than what I had already questioned my acupuncture teacher about during my appointments and what I read online.

I woke up on Saturday to more messages about my Grandfather, and a message from my ex grieving over our fallen relationship. I went to the course feeling tired. I tell you what, it was like being back in school again. 9:30 to 5:30 (excluding an hour for lunch) is pretty intense. It had nothing to do with the teacher, because she was wonderful, my brain just became tired, my back and neck ached from sitting down, and my eyes started to get sore even though I was wearing my glasses. Ironic that I was at a course all about how the body can heal itself, and I was there having a horrible body experience!

I was supposed to have a friend over for dinner Saturday night, but I decided to postpone it, as I just couldn’t, for the life of me, decide what to make – or find the effort to make it. I also had to pass on a piece of the dishwasher that the buyers of it had forgotten about a month ago.

At this point, the rain had truly set in while I waited at the nearby shops for her to turn up at 6:10.

Then came 6:15.

I sent a message at 6:20 asking if she was on her way.

At 6:25 I called her. “Oh, sorry, I lost track of time!” was her excuse. I didn’t really mind, under the circumstances – I love the rain, so it was nice to sit in the car and watch the trickles of water run over the windscreen and make patterns over the headlights.

By the time I got home, I had a tension headache, but that gradually went away once I had a proper meal and forgot about everything and focused on a hot cup of tea and a good book.

Sunday I decided that I would skip the last day of the course. I didn’t feel much like spending the whole day trying my best not to be anti-social and cramming a whole bunch of information I probably already knew in my tired eyes. So, instead I went to an auction house with my ex.

It wasn’t as great as it usually is – not really anything that interested me – but I managed to snag yet more books out of it. I now have a large box full of them in my lounge room.

After that, my ex and I went to our favourite place to have lunch – only to find it closed down! There was a notice on the door with a whole bunch of legal mumbo-jumbo, but the gist as far as I could make out was that they hadn’t paid their rent.

Both of us shocked, my ex dropped me off home and I went about tidying my place for my friend to come over.

So now I sit with a towel wrapped around my head and Monkey, my cockatiel, sitting preening himself on my laptop, listening to the howling wind outside and feeling very snug in my little apartment. I am somewhat looking forward to going to work tomorrow – so that is a great sign I feel rested not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too.

And, I have a new goal:

Be able to do this!

IMG_4799

Good luck to me, that’s all I can say!

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