humour · Lifestyle · Personal

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

Gather ’round and let me regale you with a story from my day!

It all started at 7 something – all I know was that I had woken up for the up-teenth time before my alarm – and that being the case, I lazed around in bed playing games on my phone. Before I knew it it was 8:28 am and that was frightening for two reasons.

1) I was having my follow-up inspection anywhere between 8:30 – 12:30, so I didn’t want to get caught out sitting on the toilet; and,

2) My (ex)partner was coming over to escort me to the other side of our fair city. I was having all four of my tires replaced, and I needed his help getting to and from my work.

Once I got all my shit together I raced down to my car and followed my ex to the nearby petrol station. The morning started off innocently enough. After that, we set off towards the parkway.

To my horror my ex started to get away from me. He has a habit of driving about 5 kms above the speed limit, and I’m a darling that always follows the rules. After picking up my phone and talk-messaging him ‘not to go too fast because I’ll lose him’ I hoped that he would take notice.

Once we were ON the parkway, however, off he went – further and further into the distance while I’m screaming at the top of my lungs for him to slow down. I almost honked the horn a few times, as if he would magically hear it 20 cars ahead.

You see, I had absolutely NO idea where I was going or where this place was. I also had NO idea that the speed limit was 100, and I was doing 90!

Once I figured this out, however, I managed to catch up to my ex at the turn off (although he was out of sight so I just hope and prayed it was the RIGHT turn off) only for him to disappear all over again ahead of a wave of traffic that I had to wait for.

So, having lost him and having no idea where I was supposed to go, I settled on parking in the mall car park and waiting for some directions. Once I finally understood where he was and where we were going I jumped eagerly back onto the road – only to take the wrong turn.

Long story short, I made it!

There was a lot of joking about it all as my ex drove me to work, and my 2 hours there just flew by. I am surprised that I didn’t get any sort of anxiety, but I suppose that speaks volumes to just how far I’ve come.

You’re reading the words of the proud owner of a car with no, I repeat no, balding tires. I just finished up in the shower after an appointment and I am feeling pretty good. My apartment wasn’t inspected, but it’s not like it really matters. I couldn’t be bothered to follow it up, not really my problem.

Now for some Gluten-Free gnocchi and pasta sauce for dinner! Yum!


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