Anxiety

Anxious A’Hoy!

Eh, don’t even today. Won’t even today. CAN’T EVEN, even.

I don’t particularly know how it happened, but things just sort of got away from me this past week, and my nerves are a bit shot. I’m also not very well, which sucks, however I’m on my last day of work until next Monday so I have that to look forward to.

First, there is this whole issue with my rent not coming out of my account. I’m not sure why, because the lady told me it had “bounced” and I didn’t even know doing direct debt could “bounce.” Usually, even if you don’t have the money in your account, the direct debt goes ahead anyway and you just become withdrawn.

I’ve rang about 3 or 4 times now to get it all sorted, it’s a long story, but I was told it would be done last Friday, then yesterday and now today. All of those times I anxiously opened my bank account to find the money still in there. I’m waiting until the end of today, and if it is not taken out I’m going straight to the office to pay it myself either with a money order or I’ll do it myself via Bpay.

I’ve also been quite ill over the past few days, not entirely sure why, but it has made things a little stressful considering I’m trying my best to prove to work that I’m doing awesomely.

Finally, while I was at home yesterday re-cooperating, my neighbour started to play loud music from about 3:30 onwards. Usually I don’t really mind, but the amount of bass coming through the walls was enough to drive anyone crazy. I had a movie on the T.V. up really loud and I could still here it… I could feel it, practically. I put up with it for about an hour or so, because I believe everyone is entitled to do their own thing, but then I called my (ex)partner to come and bang on their door. I would have done it myself but I was too scared.

My (ex)partner turned up at my door to say that he knocked but no one answered. I told him I knew someone was in there cause I could hear them. He said he yelled through the door to keep the music down, but around that time my neighbour started turning it down anyway, perhaps someone else had knocked on the door.
My (ex)partner had on a really tight shirt to show off his upper body strength, which I thought was amusing.

However, because of my nerves already being fazzled, the whole thing with the music made me absolutely hate my apartment – which I don’t. I began to live in fear of this guy (or girl) turning their music on at some stupid time when I’m trying to rest of play music.

It’s something I know I shouldn’t fret about, because it has all been fine up until then.

I am trying to focus on the positives but a part of me is just anxious to the core. I even bit the inside of my lip last night in bed. I wasn’t even eating anything – I just woke up, and chomped down on my lip!

I’ve try to make an emergency appointment with my acupuncturist, but I won’t be able to get in until Thursday afternoon!

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