Who knew it would take a week to move?
I’m totally and utterly exhausted. I haven’t slept past 7 am since Tuesday and I haven’t really stopped to take some time out for a lot longer. I am so tired that light doesn’t even bug me – usually I have to have the room as dark as possible to sleep.
The good news is my (ex)partner has signed the lease for a place, so he is currently gradually moving all his stuff over. In a rush to get everything out of our old place we had to store it at his parents’. The owner is being really anal about the cleaning of the property even though we’ve handed the keys back and the real estate agent said it was all good. My (ex)partner is playing nice because they still have our bond but at the moment it’s like prodding a sleeping bear. I feel like warning them not to push it, because my (ex)partner is not someone to trifle with.
I’m going to be at work for the next 4 days, but as soon as that’s over I have 5 days off. I will probably be spending one of those sleeping.
I am not going back on my decision to break up with my partner, although at times I wonder if I’m making the right choice and at night it is nice to have someone to cuddle up to. There are a lot of little things he does that aren’t so bad if you are friends with someone, but completely drive me up the wall in a “partner” sense.
Some things I won’t miss:
- Checking his emails/playing games on his phone/reading in bed. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with it – but when I’ve already said that I’m going to sleep… then it’s a different story. I can’t sleep when someone next to me is constantly moving and there is that annoying light from a device.
- “No”. He says it all the time. “No it isn’t”, “no you’re not”, “no you can’t”. Most of the time he is just joking, but to hear that constantly is annoying. I sigh and look out the window if I can.
- Being overly critical of others. It’s a personal thing, if he wants to then fine, but I don’t want to hear it. He is definitely not in the school of “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I have started to suggest different wording lately, asking him to use the word “different.” Instead of saying, “so-and-so looks weird/stupid/ugly” I’m encouraging him to say, “so-and-so looks different.”
- He’s not the most aware person, in that he doesn’t think too much about other people’s needs. It may not mater to some, but as a sensitive person I sort of need someone who can be an empath.
- Yelling at people in the car. It’s something my father used to do, so I’m sort of used to it, but when he yells in the car I’m the only one who hears it – not the person he is directing his abuse at.
- Advances. He has the kind of libido that would make any man or woman jealous, but I’m on the opposite side of that scale. I’m happy that I don’t have to deal with that anymore… I sort of do, but that’s another story.
I’m looking forward to gaining my unit back, once my (ex)partner has removed all of his things. I’m super happy with my place – I was a little worried about it, mostly for security reasons and who my neighbours might be, but everyone I’ve met is super nice and there is little to no noise in the whole place so that’s awesome.
Anyway, better get back to the daily grind.