Personal · Relationship

I Promised Myself!

Good morning all.

Today is technically my Friday, so I am very much looking forward to the end of the day – then it’s 5 days off for me!

I’m thinking more and more about moving out on my own and how I think it is for the best. I don’t know if it me feeling exhausted from work or what but my partner is really starting to bug me. I was sort of expecting that he would start to help out more around the house (because he said he would) now that I’m working consistently too, but nope.

The dishwasher desperately needs to be stacked and put on, he failed to wash his work shirts for the week (I usually do that but I was at work all weekend), I realised this morning that the birds didn’t have any food & their area needs to be cleaned (they make a lot of mess), and we were both too exhausted to make dinner last night. If it were up to him we would have just gone hungry, so I had to drag him out of the house to a local take away and grab something healthy to eat.

I mean, I know he works all day and then goes to the gym afterwards, but that’s not really an excuse to come home and spend the rest of the night on a computer. Generally I don’t mind but he wasn’t even doing work! He was looking up family tree stuff. I mean, I go to work all day too but I still have to make dinner and do various other tasks when I get home!

It’s funny because over the weekend I heard all these horror stories about relationships and it got me thinking about how wonderful my partner is and if I was making a mistake by getting my own place, but yesterday really opened my eyes as to why I’m doing this. Sure, I will miss the cuddles and having someone I love around, but things just aren’t working out and I know that if I don’t do this it will be spiltsville eventually for us.

I’m really hoping that I hear back about the apartment today. I have been thinking about it, mapping the layout in my mind, thinking about where to put things and getting excited about decorating it – making it a real “home.” The prospect of living on my own excites me. It’s hard to explain but I’m alone and if no one looks after me then I only have me to blame! When you’re living with a partner there is an expectation that it’s half/half. Sometimes you look after them, sometimes they look after you – but that’s just not happening, and I’m beginning to despise him for it.

It’s not that I ever expect anything from my partners, I am just a giver by nature so if I don’t get anything back I end up running myself dry and I have nothing left over for myself.

Hahaha, I told myself that this blog entry wouldn’t be about my relationship but here we are!

I was hoping to talk about something else.

Oh well. I’ll make a promise that tomorrow I’ll blog about a different aspect of life!


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