Love · Personal · Relationship

Beauty And The Beast

Isn’t She/He a beauty?!


I haven’t decided what sex to assign to it yet, not that it needs one, but you know how you have objects and you can just sort of tell what energy it has?
I think I will have a better idea once I play it – the fellow I brought it off hasn’t played it for 4 years! So the strings don’t wind on anymore and all but 3 of them are total ride offs.

However, thankfully, I found a place (while I was looking for violins online) in the city that restrings, repairs, etc. violins and when I called him this afternoon he was very pleasant and helpful, and I am taking this guy/girl in tomorrow for him to take a gander at.

I haven’t played I violin since I was about 6 or 7, a good 20 years ago, but as soon as held it up to my collarbone and I held that bow in my hand, all the muscle memory came back. I am so very much looking forward to getting it repaired!


In other news, I have no fucking idea what is going on between my partner and I. We were intimate last night and I didn’t really feel much of a connection. I can’t tell if it’s because we’ve been spending less and less quality time together (because the focus has been on money and business for so long) or if we are drifting apart.

I’m thinking a lot about us just being friends and business partners but my heart is such a see-saw on the matter. One minute I’m 100% committed, not a doubt in my mind, that we should be together, and the next I’m counting the days until he is deployed and I can finally be alone.

It just feels like (a lot of the time, but not always) his energy is always dragging the mood down. He’s always thinking about material things, when I just want to have fun in the moment. Every word that comes out of his mouth used to be loving, kind, talking about worldly things, but now it’s just money this, business that – where’s the romance and passion in that?

Everywhere we go it is looking at his stocks on his phone, I’m just feeling like a third wheel half the time – that is, until, he wants to be intimate. Then, apparently, I’m supposed to be “in the mood” – let me ask you, would you be in the mood?


Anyway, enough about that. Let’s not think about it too much. I am about to try and finish another of my small, baby step goals.


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