Last night, as I sat on the couch trying to make myself cry via romantic comedies as suggested by Nicole over at the blog Cauldrons and Cupcakes to let out built-up emotions (but apparently I was too happy to do so), my partner came in to the lounge room and asked me “do you think we’re drifting apart?”
It came as a little bit of a shock to me because lately my partner and I had been getting along like a house on fire. I’ve been happier and more myself, finally over the worst of the medication adjustment, and my partner was feeling good about a new venture he had been working on.
Now, I’m someone who likes my space. The best way for me to recharge is to sit alone, do my own thing, contemplate the meaning of life. I also am a big fan of space in a relationship; I don’t need to be constantly around the one I love, and I want my partner to feel as free as possible. No one needs my permission to live a happy life.
However it came to light that I had been giving my partner too much space.
“We just don’t seem as close anymore.”
What I came to realise was that he meant “you’re not being very affectionate towards me.”
Guilty as charged.
I have a tendency to do this – when I am focusing a lot on my own self-improvement, my health, recharging my own batteries – I forget that with a relationship comes great responsibilities. It’s no longer just “me” and although I am allowed to think about me from time to time I need to remember that I’m part of a team.
I can’t buy my partner flowers, but I think I need to make it up to him. In creating a lot of space so we could both move and stretch our independent legs I’ve realised that I’ve put a little too much emphasis on it. My partner, however manly he is, is someone that thrives in a partnership – he needs to feel supported, loved and appreciated just like me.