Although I won’t be posting this until much later, I am currently up and awake at 3:45 am. I don’t want to be, but I am.
On Friday I started on an anti-anxiety medication which all together didn’t make me feel that bad. I have some annoying nausea from time to time but I’ve found that if I eat pretty constantly during the day it doesn’t bother me.
The thing that has me pretty worn out is the fact that my body isn’t sleeping 8 hours straight anymore. I am so worn out that I’m in bed by 9:30 pm, sleep until 12:30 am, then I’m pretty much wide awake and roll around in bed for the rest of the night until the sun comes up – then, apparently, I can sleep.
But I can’t sleep in, because I have to be up to take my medication at around 8:30 am. So it takes me a while to wake up, but by the time I’m having lunch I need to go have a lay down.
Now I know why my best friend in high school who was on anti-depressants didn’t sleep at all.
I am supposed to keep taking this stuff “no matter what” for 10 days before I see my doctor again, but I can’t walk around like a zombie for that long. Sort of defeats the purpose of taking it. Perhaps the dosage is too high?
I haven’t really had the chance to test if it is working on my anxiety either, because I’m too tired to do anything or go anywhere. I can feel that it has calmed me down though, so much so that my partner can jump out and scare the living daylights out of me – were as he couldn’t do that before.
Last Thursday I decided to go back to my hometown and stay with my parents on their farm for a couple of days. It was nice and relaxing – I miss being able to walk out the back door onto handfuls of land where you can’t hear a car go by every 2 seconds. I would have stayed there for more days, but I am allergic to something in the house and the longer I stay there the worse it gets.
On Saturday my parents and I ran into one of my old friends from Primary School. They talk to her all the time, but this was the first time I’d seen her for a long while. She has twin boys who are now 8 years old and had brought a small business (which is where we found her.)
I said goodbye to my parents on Sunday and came home (well, my mother drove me back.)
Now I sort of just have to wait out the next 6 days.