Just a quick one today.
Yesterday I used all my courage to go to my acupuncture appointment even though a lot of me was screaming “anxiety!!!”
I’m glad I did go, because we were able to get me feeling a little more normal and relaxed to the point where my body got it’s appetite back and was all, “where’s the food, bro?”
However today I’m again finding it difficult to shut my anxiety button off.
You see, my partner took my car to the mechanics today EVEN THOUGH we decided last night to switch cars for a fortnight instead of getting my air con fixed (because my partner spent more money fixing his car when MY CAR actually NEEDS air con so we don’t really have it in our budget right now.)
Anyway, he sent me a message this morning saying, “was I supposed to take the car to the mechanics?”
Long story short, my car is at the mechanics and he doesn’t have the money to pay for it. Sooooo, that means I have to drop off my card to him.
However, he WON’T tell me WHEN to drop it off – just, “I’ll let you know.”
Anyone with anxiety will tell you that’s not the best thing to tell someone in my current situation.
I know better than to worry about it, but I really can’t explain it. It’s as if my guts are saying, “look, we both know you’re perfectly capable of driving at any time of day to see your partner – I mean, you’ve done it so many times now you could just put your brain on auto-pilot and it would get you there – but I’m just going to make it super difficult for you to keep your wits and make you believe you can’t, okay?”
“That’s super helpful, right?”