Health · Personal

Don’t Go In There!

Blah. I am certainly over this cold now! Please leave!

So, I sort of had an interesting day. I left my house because for an inspection, but just as I was heading around to the garage the lady arrived (I say lady, but this chick is probably 5 years younger than me) and I had to awkwardly tell her I was leaving. Awkward why? Well, because I AM awkward! Instead of doing it like a normal person, by smiling and enunciating my words, I mumbled that I had to go somewhere so she’d have to move her car with a GIANT frown on my face.

So, after that unpleasantness, I thought I would check out the local air conditioning specialists for my car which is giving up on life at the worst time possible – Australian Summer. My house may not have air con, but I’LL BE DARNED IF MY CAR WILL BE AN OVEN!

After getting bored with this idea (took about a minute or two) I decided to go to the lake. Before I got there, I stopped at some local shops to pick up a puzzle magazine for something to do while I waited for strangers to get out of the house I’m renting. When I got to the lake, it was nice. Nice water, nice breeze, not many people around, clever little ducks hanging around everywhere…

…oh, what’s that? I need to go to the bathroom? Oh, well, no problem, right? There is a public toilet nearby.

I kind of expected it to be a LOT better than what I was greeted with when I walked in. My inner control freak/germ hater was like, “dude?! No!!! Get the fuck out of here!” but I really had to go to the bathroom and I didn’t really want to leave the lake so soon – I’d only just got there. However, the struggle was real – I stood there for what seemed like an eternity thinking about it.

I eventually made the decision to go for it, after much pacing back and forward towards the entrance. I went into a stall and made sure there was minimal touching of ANYTHING in there, and I’m glad my legs are as strong as they are – in aiding me to hover like a boss. When I had to flush the toilet, I grabbed a handful of paper and turned the button and then I was OUT OF THERE.

I stopped at the sink to wash my hands, stared at it for a while, and realised that this was probably where I would contract the deadly illnesses. I would much rather walk back to my car and use large quantities of hand sanitizer than let any part of my body near that sink.

So, that’s what I did. I washed my hands twice with the sanitizer and once with a wipe, then dried them off with a couple of tissues.

And let us never speak of that public bathroom again.


On the way back home I realised that I needed lemons, and also toyed with the idea that I would enjoy some Mangoes for lunch. It was a great plan, to drive to the local markets and pick some up, until my own body began to CHOKE me. See, I’m up to that part of my flu where all the fluid in my body has dried up – my throat is scratchy and the mucus is as thick and as sticky as goo. But don’t drink any fluids! Apparently that just makes things worse!

I spent the whole time driving home coughing, spluttering, but mostly gagging. I managed to stop myself from bringing the contents of my stomach up but the goo sure was making that difficult by sitting RIGHT on my gag reflex. When I got home, I ate something straight away and noticing that it helped, well, I’ve been eating all day – even though my body is NOT hungry. I can’t stand this crazy scratchy throat thing that’s going on!

As soon as I got home I got stuck into some house work, but spent a lot of my time laying around on furniture with long, draping dressing on, eating grapes and saying, “woe is me!”

Okay, no dresses or grapes, but the rest is true.

I just don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.

Solve it, future me!

On the plus side, no anxiety at all when I feel like this… so… yay…


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