I’m eating a big bowl full of watermelon for breakfast – I just brought it from the supermarket, where I WALKED to. That’s right, no laziness for me. My partner has actually taken my car to a course he is doing over the other side of the city as his car is at the mechanics, so I’m stuck at home for the next two days. I actually don’t mind at all.
I brought both watermelon and a box of cereal, but in the end opted for the melon. I didn’t drink much water at work yesterday so I’m feeling a little dehydrated, and being dehydrated sucks. I get headaches and feel spacey… not fun.
I had a weird dream this morning, just before I woke up, where I was talking to a lady who was trying to help me figure stuff out. By “stuff” I think I mean my anxiety.
She asked me to sit down to play her a song on a grand piano and she would listen to see what was wrong. When I sat at the keys I made excuses about not knowing what to play, not remembering how to play something, the kind of thing I do in real life when someone asks me to express myself. Then it became clear to her and I that I was “thinking too much, not enough feeling.”
Not enough feeling? That’s a bit weird, right? Anxiety is nothing but feeling…
With that in mind, as I walked to the supermarket with nothing in my stomach feeling tired and weak, I decided to feel rather than think. I didn’t over-think any physical symptoms, like being a little light-headed, and I didn’t give my attention away to people nearby who were talking loudly. I centred everything on just breathing and feeling. Seemed to help.
I’ve actually been trying some new methods of anxiety release recently that are working very well.
The first is a tree mediation which I think I posted about a couple of days ago. You don’t particularly need a tree to do it, but it’s helpful to be near one so you can imagine better. It’s basically imagining that you have roots coming out of your feet that go deep into the earth, so you can feel strong as if nothing could push you over.
When I went to Yoga, the teacher sort of expanded on this (and I didn’t even tell her about the meditation I had done the day before) by imagining that all of the negativity (or anxiety) you’re holding in your body is sent down to the earth to be changed into neutral energy again, and you then draw new energy up through these imaginary roots.
I mean, you sort of have to keep an open mind here – I am well aware I have no roots growing out of my feet, but I’ll be darned if it’s not helping me cope.
I actually just used it then – I received an email from my work saying we’re overstaffed and so my hours have been cut. I got super annoyed and upset, but I closed my eyes, thought of my roots and sent all of those crappy feelings down. Then I breathed in and drew up new energy. I feel much better now!
The second, and one of thee best things I’ve been told lately to cope with anxiety is that energy is just energy. Again, you sort of have to keep an open mind here too and be open to the idea that everything in this world is neutral energy – it’s the meanings that we, personally, give it that makes it either good or bad. I know that is debatable in the bigger-picture stuff we have going on in the world, but this is more about your own day-to-day life.
When people around me are angry, yelling, aggressive, fearful, sick, hurt, grumpy, emotional I usually go right there with them because I’m a empath. What I’ve been doing lately is, before taking offense to angry man or yelling woman, is remind myself that it’s just energy. Just someone expressing something they need to get off their chest – nothing more.
It’s actually what helped me so much when my partner went all crazy on me two nights ago. See, some people have this down pat already – it’s obviously something they’ve learned to do in their life – but for people like me, the feelers, I was already overcome before I had a chance to learn.
Hey, it’s never too late to learn, right?