You Couldn’t Plan It

Yesterday I had a fairytale-like day with my partner – not as the pressured lovers that we’d become, but as the best friends we are and always have been.

My partner is actually smiling again. Smiling the kind of smile that I fell in love with. The kind of smile that gets me right at my heartstrings and gives me a little flutter of delight.

There were moments in yesterday that you couldn’t plan, even if you tried. We didn’t go anywhere special or do anything out of the ordinary, but it was all so different.

It mostly all started when, as we were driving to the video store, my partner spotted a lady who he said, “had a big butt.” He wasn’t being cruel – just stating the obvious – but at the exact moment he said it, the lady grabbed her behind and looked around. We couldn’t believe our eyes and we laughed for the first time in a long time as friends with an inside joke.

Often when I spend time with my partner he is aloof and distant and I am uptight and angry. This time, for the rest of the time out together, we spent it much more relaxed. He put his arm around me more, engaged with me more, and I put absolutely no pressure on us or the situation. I expected nothing and got everything.

I’m not entirely sure what today will bring but I give up trying to make my life so darn perfect all the time.

I give up my need to control everything. *throws hands up in the air*

Now, I will get back to spring cleaning. I am so happy that the sun is back, the temperature is warmer and my muscles don’t hurt too much from exercising!


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