There is nothing better than chilling out with a friend, I tell you what. I forgot how completely rejuvenating it is!
Usually my anxiety prevents me from being able to relax when I visit other people. However, this friend is close to my house, and also suffers from anxiety as well, I don’t feel as pressured and thus calm the f-down.
With some friends I find that there is always pressure to have to fill every little moment with conversation or something exciting. Nothing against those friends, because when I’m up for a good conversation I know who to call, but you know you’ve found an awesome friendship when the two of you are completely comfortable just sitting on the lounge looking up random recipes and there’s silence 80% of the time.
My anxiety threshold is slowly falling. It’s funny because I can feel it doing so. Little things that didn’t make me anxious before are starting to get at me and I get little agitating moments when my heart seems to rise in my chest for no reason. I think there are two reasons for this: 1) my partner’s nephew’s daily presence in the house is starting to get to me, or 2) it’s just leftover energy from a few days ago when I had a stomach upset. Being sick always makes my anxiety worse. I think it is probably a combination of those things.
That’s not to say I can’t handle it.
When my partner drove his nephew and I to go look at some photographs the day after I was sick, I sat in the back of the car feeling a bit blah and thus anxious. However, I just said to myself, “let’s just forget about the anxiety, lay back and have a rest” and it seemed to work.
Today, when I was driving to my friends house, I went a way I didn’t normally go and so I was stuck in a suburb I didn’t know. My city has a lot of twists and turns and when it finally dawned on me that I had no idea where I was I had the familiar pang of a huge amount of adrenaline rush through my body. Instead of getting caught up in the wave I (and this is where I laughed a little) said; “that’s right! Get anxious! Let me feeeeeel it!” kind of like an evil bond villain.
I tell you what, that shut it right up!
I also told myself it was fine because if I keep on driving, eventually I’d find myself back on a road that is familiar.
Now I think I’m just ready to reclaim my space so I can proper relax, which is only a day away! I’m thinking of buying some lavender essence and running myself a bath on Saturday; chuck some Epsom Salts in for good measure.
Hope everyone is well!