Well howdy, Morning-time.
You know, it’s super easy to feel sorry for yourself in this day and age. I fell into the trap yesterday when I found out I didn’t get the job I honestly thought was mine. In the end they went with someone with a lot more experience, which is totally understandable, but the idea of this job made me feel better – as if I wasn’t stuck and I could finally move forward out of being a casual worker at the age of 27 to an almost full-time worker at the age of 28.
Again, instead of contacting me via my phone or home email address, they send the “sadly, you were not chosen on this occasion” email to my work email… on Monday, with a “I’ll call you on Tuesday in case you don’t get in to read this”. It’s now Thursday!
Rejection is hard, especially since this is the 3rd or 4th time I have been rejected for a position at my current workplace. Perhaps it is time to move on? Well, yes, I feel that way, but the job market here is pretty poor and my lack of experience in a lot of areas leaves much to be desired; not to mention my lack of energy cuts out a lot of options.
I was expecting my partner to be disappointed, but he was actually very kind to me when he got home from work. It seemed I was the one who didn’t even know I was upset – but I suppose my comfort eating kind of hinted to something I wasn’t allowing myself to feel. Much later in the evening as my partner took me for a ride to run some errands and all I could think about was, “where am I going?”
So again I feel stuck. You know that feeling you have when you wake in the morning and there is absolutely nothing on your mind… and then you remember the previous day or something you did you regret… I had one of those mornings.
I should do what any Muso would do in this situation and write a song about it. It’s not healthy for me to ignore what I’m feeling just because it might be hard to accept or painful, or even if I think I should be above getting angry or frustrated. It’s better to be that way than to feel nothing.
Hope everyone has a nice day. I think I might try my best to go for another walk – this whole week the sun has been shining, so it’s best to take advantage of it!