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It Doesn’t Matter! I’m Tired

Yuck. I ate too many chocolate-covered fruits trying to get my energy levels to rise – I think I over did it! I should have just stuck with the cup of licorice root tea to increase my blood pressure levels…

Today I went to work and it was an extremely quiet day, which was a blessing because I started to feel very tired towards the end of my shift. This meant I was able to go home half an hour earlier but even thought I was out of work I was a little worried that I wouldn’t make it back home. It’s so annoying because yesterday I was fine – I didn’t need to sleep in (even though I wanted to) I had energy and what have you.

I ended up submitting an application for the job I wrote about a couple of posts ago. I just thought, what the hell – I can always negotiate hours and if it doesn’t suit me then I don’t have to take it. The important thing I have to remember is that my current job requires a lot of walking around, a lot of energy generally, and this possible job is a desk job – perhaps something my current health and energy levels may be more suited for. I have to stop thinking of them in the same context.

On the mental health front, I’m being more “up-front” about my anxiety. I don’t really care if people judge me anymore – they can jump to whatever conclusion they want to; I’m still me, regardless of the fact that I may freak out for no reason. For the most part I receive acceptance and, well, I don’t really want to say this word, but sympathy. Or perhaps it’s empathy… I’m not sure what others have going on in their brain.

I’m also having a lot of success “staying in the moment” – rather, I have a really easy time of recognising when I’m not focused and snapping myself out of it. Something that is really helping prevent any attacks of anxiety or panic is reminding myself that in this moment I have no where else I have to be. I’m here. I’m in the moment. I try not to bring any other thought into it. Regardless of if I’m at work feeling tired or at home feeling tired, I’m still going to be tired.

I may not be expressing myself very well… I’m tired!

Hope everyone is having a lovely day, where ever they are.

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