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I Threw A Spider At Him

This story is, in a way, hilarious…

…but it’s also scary and serious…

I got ready to go out for a weekly ritual – my partner, Sushi, and meat shopping for the week. My partner handled a shift at work in the morning, so it was around lunch time when he picked me up.
Just before I jumped in the car I decided to check our letter box; just some junk mail that I probably should have just left in there – or thrown in the recycling bin – but I took it and jumped in the car.

We were on our way and I started reading said junk mail… then, I turned the leaflet over… and waiting on the other side was a Huntsman spider…

stewarts-pest-control-huntsman1
image source: http://www.13bugs.com.au/hunstman-spider.html

Thankfully, the Huntsman wasn’t as big as this guy ^

…but it was a spider none-the-less.

I’m not scared of spiders, but I AM scared of surprises.
Let me reiterate: If I see a spider on the wall… fine. If a spider ups and runs across my desk while I’m working… not fine.

So instead of doing something level-headed, I did something COMPLETELY stupid and THREW THE SPIDER AT MY PARTNER!!!
I THREW A SPIDER AT A PERSON WHO WAS DRIVING AN AUTOMOBILE!!!!!

Are you fucking kidding me, Brain?

Not only did I throw a spider at someone, but I threw it at someone who is terrified of spiders.

I think I would have been more terrified about my partner swerving all over the road trying to kill a fast-moving object in his lap, but all I could think of was “please God, don’t let that spider be anywhere near me.” I don’t like the way they run in fast-motion – their tiny little legs propelling them around as if they were skating on ice.

My partner yelled profanities and pulled the car over to search for it – but you’ll never find a spider once they hide. He was (understandably) pissed off all the way to our destination.

Once we sat down to eat he lightened up a bit, then he started lecturing me and I burst into tears. I knew it what I did was beyond crazy, but there’s only many times I can say I’m sorry. It’s not as if I could take it back. So I was sitting in the Sushi restaurant, eyes all watery, and my partner was doing that, “aww, it’s okay” and laughing that I was so upset.

Now that I think back, it is a pretty funny situation – the kind you would see on a T.V show or movie and think “how stupid, that wouldn’t happen in real life” but, here we are! I mean, we could have run into a car, or some other object, but thankfully we didn’t… I think that’s why we can both laugh about it.

Seriously, Spiders.

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2 thoughts on “I Threw A Spider At Him

    1. It’s just one of those moments in life where I thought I wouldn’t be so stupid as to do that – but there you go! I laughed as I was writing it. I hope it vacates my partner’s car.

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