Personal

How Illogical I Know My Anxiety Is

If I contemplate going to a a new group – where I’ll meet new people and learn something new – I’ll often have such uncomfortable feelings about this that I won’t do it.

Of course, I’m afraid that when I get there I might have a panic attack and flip out in front of people I don’t know, be stuck somewhere, have to pace around like a mad man waiting for someone to come save me because I literally cannot think anymore – my logical brain has shut down.

I mean, being in that state is something to fret over – as I said, you literally cannot think. It’s as if you’re standing back, looking at some other person’s reactions to a situation that really doesn’t call for it.

That being said, there is nothing life-threatening about that whole thing, so why would I be afraid for my life?

 

However, I can cook dinner and leave the gas on for about 10 minutes (I forgot to light it) and then comment to my partner, “do you smell gas?” run downstairs to find the whole place is filled with it.

In a serious situation with absolutely no panic – none. What’s more, the next day I just casually wander down the stairs and cook my breakfast on the stove as if nothing happened. I forgot about it until this morning; a full two days after it happened.

There’s no: oh, I won’t use the stove ever again because of that one time I almost blew us all up.

How is that logical?

I don’t know.

 

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6 thoughts on “How Illogical I Know My Anxiety Is

  1. Well said! My anxiety is so immobilizing (and embarrassing). I have the best intentions that I’m going to do something or say something and totally block myself. It’s like I hit a wall or something. Quite frustrating!

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