Anxiety · Health

I’m Not Doing Anything, Monkey

My bird, Monkey, is yelling because he thinks I’m doing exciting things upstairs without him.

I’m not.

I’m having one of those moments in life were I’m wondering what the hell I am doing.

I watched a video on TED last night – a 13-year-old girl who has already established an eco-friendly clothing company, started creating her own animation series, and Forbes has already wrote an article about her progress.

I sat there with a toxin headache feeling like a total *bleep*ing idiot. I can remember feeling that passionate as a child. I remember loving animals and the environment, writing stories and entertaining people. What the hell happened?

I went from someone who single-handedly convinced my teachers to let me put on a play for my primary school’s speech night, got two of my friends together to play the other parts, and memorised the whole thing to perform in front of a hall of parents at the age of 10…

…to being so overly self-conscious of everything around me that I stopped trying. Also, the stupid anxiety turned me into a stressed 40-year-old business man at the tender age of 12.

 

My partner just called me to let me know that we have pretty much been accepted for the place down the road. He called to make sure it was still what I wanted to do, and to tell you the truth I have no idea – but I agreed.

I freaked out in the car yesterday when I picked him up from work, that’s why he was checking, but I have a feeling that was just the toxins talking. Most of the time I’m really excited about moving. I think it’s just the mood I’m in.

I just have to make sure that I ride that new wave of energy that a move brings in. I don’t want to get struck again.

 

 

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