My partner came home today with a big announcement:
“I’m going to change one of three things in my life and you have to help me decide which one…”
“Ok,” I said.
“One: Change our living arrangements, aka, move…”
“Two: Change my job…”
He stares at me for shock factor…
“Three: Change my relationship. It’s been three years now…” he says, with a smile on his face.
My partner and I joke about breaking up all the time, so there’s little we can say to each other that we would take seriously. After talking a little about the options it turns out the third option has a lot to do with my partner “pushing” me to do things – lovingly, of course. We had a frank discussion about it all; how even though I have anxiety problems, that doesn’t mean I should let it decide my future.
“You have to start living your life,” he said.
He used boot camp on the cruise ship to get his point across:
“I thought I was pushing myself with training but once I started doing that camp I realised that I wasn’t doing anything at all.”
I told him that the cruise had also done the same for me. It opened my eyes to the fact that there were many things I could do in my day to day life but I was using anxiety as an “excuse” not to – I say “excuse” because I thought at the time that it was a legitimate reason, but having pushed so many boundaries on my week away I realise that it was all peanuts compared to what I could do.
Even though my partner said he wants to change “one of the three” I have a feeling he will probably change all of them, and I think I am happy about that.
“Just say the word and I’ll help you get going.”