Anxiety · Happiness · Lifestyle · Musings · Personal · Relationship

Girl Friends

Ah, I wish it would just RAIN. Stop with all this humidity already.

 

Ever since I can remember, I’ve always gravitated toward the company of males.

I’m not entirely sure why that is, perhaps it’s just their easy-going approach. What I’ve noticed over the last few years is how much I miss having girl friends, especially now that I’m not the same person I was in high school.

Don’t get me wrong, I had my fair share of girl friends all through-out school – I mean, in Primary School it’s a tad abnormal for the two sexes to mingle a lot until they start getting a bit older. It was the same in high school; I had girl friends and guy friends, and hung out with them pretty evenly.

There was one thing, however, that I liked most about hanging out with my close guy friends – there was no competition. No “who liked this band first” no “who can sleep with this senior first” (yes, that was actually a conversation between two of my closest girl friends) and not a lot of drama. I was in no way a girls girl, I didn’t really like make-up or buying clothes (at least clothes that everyone else was wearing) and since I had a hard time with an intense guy when I was 16, I was really just over flirting and talking about guys.

Now I’m 26 years old and I’ve come to realise that all the illness (both physical and mental) has meant I haven’t much enjoyed a lot of my young adult life, not to mention the fact that I’m not going to be young forever. In 4 years I’ll be 30, in another 10 I’ll be 40 – and these past years have just flown by. Everyone who is older says that time just keeps going faster and faster, and I contemplate how much I’m missing out on.

The thing I would love to have more of in my life right now are girl friends, especially since I realise that a good social circle is the main thing I’m missing. I did mention before that I had been watching a TV series called “The Hills” and, apart from all the drama, I sit and admire their friendships. There is something a girl friend can offer you that a good guy friend can’t. They will always be guys. Now that I’m starting to explore a different side of myself, I have realised that the support I need is the kind you can only get from females.

The one girl I did turn to for that kind of energy is now in Canada (hey! :)) and I will be the first to say that I am socially awkward. I haven’t had to make friends since school, and it just doesn’t come naturally to me – especially since all the anxiety has caused me to become reserved and cautious. It’s not an excuse, it’s just a bad, bad habit that needs practise on, I guess. Girls also tend to be very cliquey, and it’s hard to break into circles if they’ve been friends for a while (is it the same everywhere, or just cause I live in the city?)

Not having friends to chill out with also puts a lot of strain on a relationship, especially if you live together. Half the things I get annoyed at my partner for I would not even bother with if I had another friends. Right now he has to be my boyfriend, my best friend, my shrink and my girl friend. That’s one hell of a load for someone to take on, and I feel bad for him. Especially since, you know, he’s not a girl.

I do have my partner to thank for embracing my sexuality though. He encourages me to be a woman – because that’s what I am. There are still boyish traits about me, but I have suppressed the girlish ones for a little too long. I have definitely grown out of enjoying being called “one of the guys” and am much happier being called “sexy.”

That being said, I’ll always be a little rough around the edges.

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9 thoughts on “Girl Friends

  1. Well written! I do believe you will find the friend you’re looking for, probably when you least expect it. I know that’s what happened to me. Sometimes we just need to be patient and what we’re looking for actually finds us.

  2. Hey hey, lovely lady. That was an insightful post 🙂 I totally understand what you mean – I’m having the same problem in the Great White North. Why can’t we just be accepted as human rather than being seen through the lens of a gender stereotype? Life would be a lot easier, I reckon. Miss ya!

  3. I think it’s true-and it’s not just in the city, it’s hard to break into groups of girlfriends that have been friends for a while. I’ll be 36 this Sunday and I just don’t have as much time to cultivate and nurture friendships, I try my best to..it’s just with 6 kids, marriage, ministry, and my husband’s business-it’s too much. I just want to go to sleep not talk on the phone or even hang out. Although I know I need it, and I saw that just last week when my girlfriend insisted I go shopping with her for an event I had to go to with my husband because of his business, we had so much fun. It was great 🙂 Us Ladies do need each other. Hopefully God will bring someone in our lives that can meet us right where we’re at to be a blessing to us and so that we can be a blessing to them. Thanks for sharing your post 🙂

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