Anxiety · Health · Musings · Personal · Relationship

Sitting Around

I certainly won’t miss sitting around. When people tell me it must be good to sit around all day doing whatever you want, I think those people are mental. What’s a life for if not for living?

I’m sorry my posts have been few and far between. It’s mainly because I don’t like posting on my phone – too little space, no concept of what I’m doing.

Yesterday I was in funk land, and not the funkytown type. Imagine one of those old movies where the woman draws all the curtains and puts her hand over her forehead, all, “woe is me!” Well, that was me, minus the woe. I actually felt nothing yesterday. A few times I was upset at my partner, but nothing came of it. I just sat and stared out into space.

Eventually I emerged from my foggy wood to pretty myself up. I always feel better when I make myself feel good by dressing up a bit. Then, I decided I wasn’t going to cook so we went out for dinner. We went to “our” restaurant and sat down to a meal. Delicious as usual.

When I got home I felt a lot better. My partner decided to take photos of me and after seeing them I wanted to cut my hair…

…which is what I did today. It was hard to get out of bed, as usual, but when I finally had breakfast things were moving along, however slow. I think I spent about 30 minutes in the bathroom, but I love it. I’ll have maintain it more often. I actually thought I’d f-ed up and said to myself, “oh no! Now my boyfriend won’t love me anymore” but I forget I’ve cut my own hair a zillion times. (there is a running joke that my partner loves my hair more than me.)

I’ve also decided to go back to see my acupuncturist when I see the dentist on Monday. Seems no one knows what is going on with me, or rather, why my body responds well to treatment but then decides to ignore it and go back to what it deems “normal.” I have great faith in my acupuncturist, since he was able to settle my panic attacks down.

So, why did I talk about sitting around? Well, currently I’m waiting for my partner to return from work. I was going to go to a nearby shopping centre to get something recommended to me and get my hernia taken care of, but now I’ll only have time for the latter.

He is late only because of a meeting, and the other car is now fixed, apparently, so it just “has” to be picked up – but it’s not really about that.

I’m just yearning for a time when I won’t have to ask for a lift anymore. When I can just jump in the car and go myself.

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6 thoughts on “Sitting Around

  1. Life truly is for the doing, not the sitting.

    I hope you can get the health things sorted. It can be very frustrating to feel like you are moving forward, only to fall back again.

    Soon, you’ll have the second car and you will be free to come and go. You know that the driving doesn’t hold you back anymore šŸ™‚ .

    1. You always write lovely things, Becky. I still am a little scared in the car, but not long now! I just had a dream I was flying to go on a holiday without fear, so it must be leaving šŸ™‚

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