I’ve run into a mental block again.
I think it has something to do with the lack of sleep. At first I just thought it was my partners night terrors (seriously, why do people twitch in their sleep?) or the crappy “no support” mattress we have, but after sleeping alone last night with nothing on my mind… I woke up constantly and by about 6 am my body decided it was time to get up.
Ummm…. Hello?! We didn’t sleep, remember?
My mother suggested it was hormones – she had a bad week last week, but has come good now and is sleeping soundly.
Usually I was waking (like “clock” work) at 3am, which I learned was Liver time. It stopped doing that after a while, but now I’m waking at 4 am on.the.dot. I looked up the Organ Clock (Chinese Medicine again – I am intrigued) and 4 am is prime time for my Lungs and this is usually the time we process “grief, loss and letting go.” As far as I’m aware, I’m not grieving but I do have a lot of trouble with letting go. Perhaps there is something I’m not aware of. Apparently many people wake between 3-5 to practise deep breathing exercises because that’s when the lungs are at their peak (and why you would wake up if there is a blockage) so the next time I wake, I could try it?
My father gave me Honeysuckle (bachflower remedy) which is used to let go of the past – both happy and sad, to look forward to the future. Mostly for someone who believes their best days are behind them and they have nothing to look forward to. Or, in my case, believing that all your ships have sailed (but, you know, how could they? I’m only 25!)
Don’t ask me why I think that. I know it’s not logical, but it is suck in my brain somehow. You know, maybe it has something to do with the Panic Attacks. Now I know I’ve had them, maybe I believe I’ll constantly have to watch out for them – like it is an invisible cage or something…
Just got to Let.It.Go
On the physical side of things, I do have that sliding hernia which gets all up in the lungs territory, so I’m sure that would make the lungs upset too. I know I don’t like things being all up in my space.
All I know for sure is if I don’t get some sleep soon, I may become a bit loopy or emotional.
I don’t want to be grumpy.