I’ve tried my best to write, write, write a post entry, but every time I try I either loose interest or can’t come up with a relative topic. Maybe that’s my problem. All of my thoughts seem to be muddled.
I’m afraid all I can muster is my story so far.
Tonight I was supposed to have dinner with my ex-boyfriend and partner. I dunno why, but I just wasn’t feeling up to it – it was just one of those nights I would prefer to be at home, relaxing and not having to force conversation.
My comfort lately has been sitting in my partners office chair watching Sex In The City. It’s not something I would have thought of watching, but once I started the first season I felt like continuing. Sometimes I don’t pay that much attention – I play on my iPhone or play Freecell on the same computer with it running off to the side – but there are some episodes that really grab my attention.
It’s also great because I don’t have to think about any of my health problems – I can forget that I get dizzy and have no focus; something I can’t ignore when I’m out and about. Most frustrating is becoming so good at work and then regressing again. Ironically, now that I’m not feeling well they need me!
On the plus side I did do a presentation with another co-worker and that went really well. At the moment I was suppose to talk, I drew a total blank! But when I finally got through that first barrier, the rest of the hour went fine. I did get anxious, but not Panic Attack/Running away anxious. Just, fast heartbeat.
My partner is singing an annoying song to the tune of Mary Had A Little Lamb, and ‘I want to punch him in the face’ – not my words; words from my partner. He knows I am writing, but I’m not too sure if he knows I am blogging, but I suppose, how else do you “write online”?
Tomorrow night I have invited my friend over for dinner and to watch a movie. I said I would cook dinner, but I’m thinking I’ll just order some pizza (nice stuff, not the cheap stuff) and we’re going to watch some movies. I need some time with a girlfriend, and Sex In The City only strengthened that belief.
On Sunday I’m heading back to my hometown to go back to the dentist. Yay 😦
I don’t really want to but it must be done.
Okay, that’s it for now. Sorry if this has been boring, but it’s all I’ve got right now. We are heading off to bed.
Goodnight to you all. Hope you have pleasant days and beautiful dreams.