Today started at 3:30 am. Well, 3:40 something to be exact.
I was in pain. Seems I must have slept on my left wrist in an awkward position because I couldn’t even grasp anything with that hand. The room was also too hot, and my partner was being noisy, so I left. I had to go to the bathroom on the way, and washing my hands was agony. It felt better when I woke at 10 am, although still sore. Even now there are certain things I can’t do with it, but definitely not as painful if I try.
Again, I decided to write a list of 10 things I am grateful for before I got out of bed. You see, it worked so well yesterday to put the day in a whole different light. I had more fun with my partner than ever before, I was able to go for another drive, went to visit my partner’s parents again (and try to steal away the good kitty) and just laughed my butt off. I even decided to put makeup on just because – well, mostly for my partner for when he got home from work.
I had to fight off those insecurities that try to creep in when I am really enjoying myself. I am always weary that the moment I let my guard down and have fun is when all the bad things can happen to me. It’s somewhat normal for someone who has had a long-term illness, or a long-term anything really. Sometimes I have really good days and then all of a sudden, the next day is stupidly feral. But one must remain optimistic.
10 Things I Am Grateful For:
1. Today I get to choose what I want to do
2. I’m spending the day with my partner
3. Having the ability to laugh
4. Laughing all last night
5. That I can cook myself a nice warm meal for breakfast when I get out of bed
6. I get all the affection I need
7. When I look in the mirror I can see my own personal beauty
8. I can see the beauty in others
9. That I am healing
10. That I can hear the magpies singing
We made pizza for dinner last night. It was so much fun getting it all ready together and it tasted sooooo good.
We got some wholemeal bases, lathered on pizza base sauce, sprinkled some cheese, cooked up some sweet potato and turkey, added broccoli and baby spinach, the topped it all off with some olives and artichokes.
Then we added some more cheese and popped it in the oven for 10 minutes. It smelt and looked so good that I forgot to take a picture of it coming out of the oven! You’ll just have to take my word for it.
Afterwards my partner and I sat on the lounge, both stuffed to the gills. The best thing is that even a few months ago I wouldn’t have even thought about going out after eating a meal like that. Guess that is another road sign on the highway to recovery. I decided I wanted to go for a drive, and that’s when I took over my partner’s car and drove around the streets a little. Then he was in the drivers seat and we went to pick up some things from his parent’s place. It doesn’t sound like much of a night out to anyone else, but to me I couldn’t have cared less. We were then on our way home, and we stopped off at a video rental place to get some new releases. Again, no anxiety, no fear, I was honestly having too much fun.
Now, the sun is setting and my mother is coming to pick me up tomorrow morning. I have another appointment at the dentist. I can’t believe it has been 3 weeks already. When I made the appointment I thought “phew, don’t have to come back for ages” and now it is 2 days away.